When Travel Brings a Smile

As seniors travel through the country, it’s important that we are aware of the legal requirement of each state and city we visit.  To that end, the information that follows is a genuine effort to help us remain within the confines of the law.

Let’s be clear: ignorance of the law is no excuse.  Our city and state laws were enacted to ensure our safety and well-being.  What follows is a review of various state and local laws that our wise, elected representatives created for our protection.

Laws That Remain On the Books

In Alabama, you cannot drive a motor vehicle while blindfolded.  Don’t even think about it.  Also, in Alabama, the law clearly states you cannot wear a fake mustache to church with the intent of making people laugh.

Alaska prohibits students, while on school grounds, from building a snowman that is taller than the person building it. 

Arizona prohibits the manufacture or distribution of fake cocaine.  Apparently, the distribution of the real thing is okay.  Arizona also prohibits the hunting of camels in the state.

Denver, Colorado has made it illegal to lend you vacuum cleaner to your neighbor.  A cup of sugar is still okay, but keep you vacuum at home.

If you are a woman in Florida, you can be arrested if you fall asleep while under a hair dryer.   The salon owner can also be fined.  Additionally, if you park your elephant at a parking meter, you must feed the meter just as if you were parking any other vehicle.  

Kansas makes it illegal to shoot a rabbit if you are in a motorboat.

Indiana has passed a law that says liquor stores cannot sell milk.

Nebraska, maybe wanting to be more social, says that bar owners must brew a kettle of soup if they wish to sell beer.  Is it a health thing?

If you live in North Dakota, you must know it is illegal to fall asleep with your shoes on.

In Dublin, Georgia, it is not lawful for anyone to wear a mask, hood or other item to conceal their face or identity in any public place, except on Halloween.  I wonder how that’s working out!

Be careful in Ohio.  The state has a law that makes it illegal to get a fish drunk.  How do you do that?

Georgia continues to care for us even when we’re dead.  They have passed a law making it illegal to swear in front of a corpse.

North Carolina says that Bingo games cannot last for more than 5 hours straight.

Idaho has a law addressing couples.  If in public, they may not kiss for more than 18 minutes.   I guess it’s a decency thing. 

Be mindful of your behavior while on the beach in Maryland.  If you are mistreating an oyster, you are breaking the law.

In Washington state, you can be arrested for harassing Bigfoot.  In the same state, it is also illegal to be sick while in public.

Flint, Michigan has made it against the law to wear sagging pants.  And the definition for sagging is…?

You may not wear an alligator costume while in Louisiana.  Yes, you need to change you outfit.

You are breaking the law is you slurp your soup in New Jersey.

It is important that you know you may not play hopscotch on Sunday in Missouri.

Hawaii prohibits the inserting of a penny in your ear.  Personally, I’ve not yet been tempted.

Kentucky makes it illegal to transport an ice cream cone in you pocket.  The state also requires you bathe at least once every year.  Cleanliness is a good thing.

You would be breaking the law if, while in Atlanta, you tied a giraffe to a telephone pole.  Clearly, inhumane.

And in Vermont, you may not whistle under water…not sure how they enforce that one.

You now have some necessary information to be better informed while you travel the United States.  With this information and your careful compliance, you will have a safe and legal journey!

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